10 days?!? Already?!

It doesn't seem like it's been 10 days since Maezie was born, but it has. Most of it's pretty much a blur of no sleep, junk food, a massive 'Scrubs' marathon, and dirty diapers. All last week I had Davey here to help me cope, and that was HUGE, because he already knows what needs to be done without anyone having to ask. He's a good man. Not even kidding.

But now Davey's gone back to work and I'm on my own. I'll tentatively say that it's going ok. I did have a bit of an emotional breakdown this morning, but only for about 10 minutes. I do seriously miss a good night's sleep. And I hope and pray that Punkin will adjust to having to share the spotlight with her sibling. So far that's been the hardest thing to deal with. Usually Punkin is a happy, easy kid. She just wants to hang out and do her thing. But for the past few days she wants to be held constantly, and is super duper fussy. Hard to deal with when there's a newborn around, too. Maezie, on the other hand, is a breeze. Much like Punkin was at that age, only even easier because I've had a little bit of practice this time around.

I'm optimistic about this staying at home business. I think I can handle it.

t-minus

12 hours and counting. We're due at the hospital at 5:30 in the AM to finally get to meet this little girl. This day has taken FOR EVERRR. Davey and I have spent the day trying to get labor going on it's own - we took a long walk, spicy food, all the little "tricks" (except castor oil.. I figure I'll be kind to the Drs and nurses.) While I do feel a wee bit more relaxed, I'm still totally anxious to get this over with. Sleep tonight? I doubt it.

times, they are a-changin'

So. Today I started my last week of work. Not my last week of work until maternity leave is over, or my last week for the next few months. My LAST WEEK EVER. Kinda freakin' out over here. I've been working pretty much steadily since I was 15, and been at my current job for 8 of those 15 years. This place is so much a part of my daily routine that I just kind of take it for granted that I'll be sitting at the same desk, in front of the same PC, surrounded by the same sounds and people and daily grind that I have for years now.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very VERY much looking forward to being at home with my girls, but there will definitely be some adjusting. Especially financial adjusting. This is a HUUUUUUGE leap of faith we're taking here, believing that God wants me to be at home raising our daughters, and that some way, somehow, he's going to provide for us. I truly believe that this is the right choice, and that if we don't take the step now and just trust God to keep us going, it won't ever happen. That doesn't mean it's not weird, freaky, and scary though. Expect me to be a neurotic mess every once in a while.
In the meantime, we're finally getting ready for Maezie's imminent arrival. Yesterday we did some work on her room, like organizing the furniture and even hanging a few things on the wall. I even got my suitcase packed!
Setting up her room brought out something to me though - how very different this pregnancy experience has been. With Punkin, we bought so many things just for her. For her room, clothing, care, etc. With Maezie, it's all make-do and hand-me-downs. I feel a tiny bit guilty. I don't have a whole pile of sweet cutesy things to decorate her room with, unless I pilfer from Punkin's room (which I've been doing). I haven't bought her any toys or stuffed animals. Not for her very own. We don't even have a baby book for her yet. It may be a little late in the game, but I feel like we need to get her some things that are special and just for her. I don't ever want her to feel like she's second-best, or an afterthought. It's just so much easier to focus all our attention on the child we can actually see. Not to mention Punkin's just plain adorable and easy to love and spoil. I'm sure Maezie will be, too. I can't wait til she's actually here and we can hold and cuddle and love and spoil both of our girls. Geez, that sounds mushy. Get over it.

Speaking of Punkin, it's been a big couple of weeks for her, as well. She started walking on October 28th, and she had her first birthday party on Saturday. It was such a fun day! I know she's only 1 and won't remember it, but it was still so awesome to see her have such a good time. I'm continually amazed by the love that our little family is shown by our friends and loved ones. It's just too good.
By far the highlight of the day for Punkin was when she got her Teepee from Auntie Jill, and her tunnel from Nana. This child just loves anything she can crawl into and hide in. She was literally squealing with delight, and did pretty much all weekend. I'd say eating her very own birthday cake was also a big deal, but I think it was more so for those of us watching her shove cake and icing up her nose than it was for her. She was just enjoying some cake, you know? Who cares that it was all over her face?

Now that the party's over, I'm ready to wrap up work, get the house back in order a little, and meet my new little girl. The next few weeks will be interesting, to say the least.